Dr. Bessel van der Kolk: Trauma Rewires Your Brain - Here’s How to Heal It
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INTRODUCTION
Trauma is not just something that happened in the past. It’s something that lives in the present. In a powerful and deeply human conversation, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, renowned trauma expert and author of The Body Keeps the Score, breaks down what trauma really is, and how healing is not just possible, but also profoundly individual.
Whether it's war, childhood neglect, abuse, or medical trauma, the lasting impact isn't just emotional, it's neurological, biological, and deeply social.
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Trauma Isn’t the Past. It’s How You Live Now
Dr. van der Kolk explains that trauma changes how the brain processes reality. It’s not just stored in memory; it reshapes the brain’s ability to connect, love, and plan for the future. Key areas like the default mode network, amygdala, and prefrontal cortex all play a role.
When trauma hits, it disrupts the brain's ability to recognize that the danger has passed. As a result, the body continues to live as if the trauma is still happening, in a state of constant threat.
“Living with trauma is like living in a dark room where the light has turned off.”
What Is Trauma, Really?
Originally, trauma was defined by psychologists as something extraordinary, beyond the realm of normal human experience. But that view, says van der Kolk, was naive.
Today, trauma is ubiquitous. It shows up in relationships, family dynamics, workplaces, and communities.
1 in 3 couples engage in domestic violence.
At least 1 in 5 women have experienced sexual molestation.
Trauma can arise from neglect, humiliation, and emotional absence, not just violence.
And so-called "small-t traumas," like chronic invalidation or neglect, are anything but small.
We Are Social Beings. Trauma Is a Lonely Experience
A consistent theme in Dr. van der Kolk’s work is interdependence, our deep biological need for connection. Trauma isolates. Loneliness often makes trauma worse than the trauma itself.
“It’s not just what happened to you. It’s who was there for you.”
Survivors who have support, a therapist, a friend, a community, are far more likely to heal. Unfortunately, many trauma survivors are left to cope alone or, worse, blamed or dismissed.
It’s Not About Labels. It’s About What Works
Dr. van der Kolk criticizes the current psychiatric diagnostic system. Terms like depression, anxiety, or even ADHD can be helpful as shorthand, but they’re often arbitrary groupings of symptoms rather than reflections of actual causes.
“Our diagnostic system is a completely useless diagnostic system.”
What matters more than labels is finding what helps people feel safe and alive again. That often involves nontraditional methods that work directly with the body and nervous system.
Six Healing Tools That Actually Help
According to Dr. van der Kolk, healing is not one-size-fits-all. Recovery is a journey of discovery, and the most successful survivors are those who try different tools with openness.
Here are six modalities he highlights:
1. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
Originally dismissed by van der Kolk as "weird," EMDR turned out to be incredibly effective. By stimulating both sides of the brain while revisiting trauma, EMDR allows the brain to reprocess experiences in a safe way.
2. Yoga and Movement
Yoga helps trauma survivors reconnect with their bodies and regulate their nervous systems. It was found to be more effective than medication for some PTSD sufferers in van der Kolk’s research.
“The body needs to move to feel alive again.”
3. Theatre and Roleplay (Shakespeare in the Courts)
Acting helps trauma survivors embody new identities beyond "victim" or "survivor." In Massachusetts, juvenile offenders are given the choice between jail or joining a Shakespeare program. This form of experiential therapy expands the internal "perception box" that trauma tends to shrink.
4. Neurofeedback
A cutting-edge but underutilized tool, neurofeedback trains the brain to regulate itself by giving real-time feedback on brain waves. It helps with focus, emotional control, and mood, and may be especially effective for children and trauma survivors.
5. Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy
MDMA-assisted therapy has shown dramatic results in PTSD treatment. Under controlled conditions with trained therapists, psychedelics like MDMA can soften self-judgment and foster deep self-compassion.
“Self-compassion is maybe the most important ingredient for healing trauma.”
6. Talking — But Only When Safe
While “just talking” isn’t always enough, talking with someone you trust — someone warm and nonjudgmental — is critical. Language helps us make sense of what happened. It's a tool to re-integrate fragmented parts of our experience.
Conclusion
Trauma shrinks our perception of what’s possible. Healing expands it again.
Whether you’re trying yoga, acting, EMDR, or psychedelic therapy, the essential truth remains: you are not broken — your system is doing its best to protect you. With time, support, and curiosity, you can find your way back to yourself.
“Find people who support you on your journey. Try things. Be patient. And remember — you don’t have to go it alone.”
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