If You Notice THIS, Your AWAKENING Has Already Begun | Angelo DiLullo
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INTRODUCTION
What if the discomfort we spend so much time trying to escape is actually pointing us toward something deeper?
For physician, author, and spiritual teacher Angelo Dilullo, awakening began long before he had a name for it. Despite life appearing relatively normal from the outside, he experienced a persistent sense that something wasn't quite right. Meditation offered glimpses of greater spaciousness, but the underlying restlessness remained.
Then, following the end of a relationship and an intense period of self-inquiry, his experience of identity changed dramatically. In this conversation on the Inspired Evolution Podcast, Angelo explores what he describes as awakening, why our identification with thought creates suffering, and how practices such as meditation and self-inquiry can help us examine who we really are.
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Awakening Begins by Questioning Who You Are
Before his major shift in perception, Angelo describes living with what he calls a "pressure cooker of thought."
It wasn't necessarily depression or anxiety. Instead, there was a persistent sense of contraction and unease that he couldn't fully explain.
Meditation helped. For several years, it gave him temporary glimpses of something quieter and more expansive. But once meditation ended, his familiar sense of self and its accompanying discomfort returned.
A breakup eventually became an unexpected catalyst.
Angelo had unconsciously placed hope in the relationship as something that might finally resolve his inner discomfort. When it ended, that hope disappeared with it, leaving behind a deeper question:
What exactly needs to be saved—and who is the "me" that needs saving?
Around the same time, Angelo encountered The Three Pillars of Zen by Philip Kapleau. Reading first-person descriptions of kensho, a Zen term associated with directly seeing one's true nature, created a powerful sense of recognition for him.
He began practicing something remarkably simple: allowing thoughts to arise without automatically identifying with them.
Rather than suppressing thoughts or trying to empty his mind, he observed them as passing phenomena.
As his identification with thought loosened, Angelo describes experiencing a profound shift. The familiar sense of being a separate individual observing reality fell away, leaving what he experienced as awareness without a fixed center.
He later describes an even deeper shift in his perception of time, space, his body, and the apparent separation between himself and the world.
Within Zen traditions, experiences like these are often discussed using terms such as kensho and satori. Angelo emphasizes, however, that the terminology matters less than directly investigating the nature of one's own experience.
Suffering as an Invitation to Look Deeper
One of the most practical aspects of Angelo's teaching is his relationship with suffering.
He distinguishes between pain and suffering.
Pain is a direct physical or emotional experience. Suffering, in his framework, often includes the resistance, mental narrative, and attempts to escape what is happening.
Rather than treating suffering purely as something that has gone wrong, Angelo describes it as information.
It can reveal where we're holding tightly to identity, avoiding emotions, or attempting to maintain a version of ourselves that no longer feels sustainable.
This doesn't mean difficult experiences should simply be endured or spiritualized.
Angelo acknowledges that trauma can complicate this process considerably. Retreating into thought or dissociation can become a protective response to overwhelming experiences, and spiritual awakening doesn't automatically resolve those patterns. He emphasizes the potential importance of trauma-informed professional support when deeper psychological material begins to surface.
For Angelo, awakening is therefore not simply about having a beautiful mystical experience.
He also distinguishes his understanding of awakening from psychedelic experiences. Psychedelics, in his view, may temporarily provide profound glimpses beyond ordinary identity, but a temporary altered state isn't necessarily the same as a lasting transformation in how identity itself is experienced.
The deeper work is integration.
It involves becoming increasingly willing to experience reality without immediately retreating into familiar stories about ourselves.
Self-Inquiry and the Search for Truth
So how does someone begin exploring this for themselves?
Angelo frequently returns to one deceptively simple question:
Who am I?
The purpose isn't to produce an intellectual answer.
Your name, profession, history, personality, relationships, and body may all describe aspects of your experience, but self-inquiry asks whether any of them completely explain the awareness experiencing them.
Angelo suggests asking the question sincerely and then resisting the urge to immediately answer it.
Notice what happens.
Thoughts may appear.
Physical sensations may arise.
The mind may quickly attempt to restore certainty.
Instead of chasing those reactions, remain with the question—even briefly.
He also discusses Zen koans, intentionally difficult questions designed to exhaust the analytical mind's attempts to find a conceptual solution. The objective isn't to discover the clever answer but to reach a point where habitual mental strategies no longer work.
This reflects Angelo's broader approach to spiritual traditions.
He draws from Zen, Advaita Vedanta, Tantra, and other contemplative paths without arguing that one tradition owns the truth. As he puts it, traditions themselves don't awaken—people do.
What matters is direct investigation.
Angelo distinguishes between truths we understand intellectually and what he considers deeper, directly experienced truth. Rather than adopting a spiritual philosophy because it sounds appealing, he encourages people to examine their own experience.
Near the end of the conversation, he offers an equally simple starting point: set a sincere intention for truth.
Not necessarily for comfort.
Not for a particular spiritual experience.
Simply for the willingness to see clearly, even if what we discover challenges what we previously believed.
Key Takeaways
Angelo describes awakening as a fundamental shift in identification rather than simply a temporary mystical experience.
His own journey began with persistent inner discomfort and several years of meditation.
A breakup and subsequent self-inquiry became major catalysts for his shift in perception.
Observing thoughts without automatically identifying with them became central to his practice.
Angelo distinguishes physical or emotional pain from the additional resistance he describes as suffering.
He views suffering as information that can reveal where we're resisting or protecting a fixed sense of identity.
Awakening doesn't necessarily resolve trauma, and psychological or trauma-informed support may still be important.
Self-inquiry begins with sincerely asking "Who am I?" without immediately reaching for a conceptual answer.
Angelo encourages learning from different contemplative traditions without becoming overly attached to one spiritual framework.
At the heart of his teaching is a willingness to seek truth directly, even when it challenges what we previously believed about ourselves.
Conclusion
Angelo Dilullo's approach to awakening isn't ultimately about becoming someone more spiritual.
It's about investigating the person we already assume ourselves to be.
Thoughts, identities, beliefs, fears, and personal histories can feel so familiar that we rarely question whether they represent the entirety of who we are.
Self-inquiry interrupts that certainty.
For Angelo, even suffering can become part of that investigation—not because suffering should be romanticized, but because discomfort can reveal exactly where we're resisting our experience or holding tightly to a particular identity.
Awakening, in his framework, begins with curiosity.
Notice the thought.
Question the assumption.
Stay with uncertainty a little longer.
And instead of immediately searching for another answer about who you are, become curious about the awareness in which the question itself appears.
Related Resources
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Stay Inspired, Keep Evolving,
Amrit
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